I managed to make it until 10pm today before completely breaking down for a while. I keep expecting to see JDog behind me, or thinking that I hear her. It's only when I'm super busy that I'm distracted enough to not realize she's not here. And I don't want to go somewhere else because then I'd worry about who was watching her, and then keep remembering she doesn't need watching any more.
I moved Leaky and Taylor (the two prior dog's) ashes to a new place to be ready for hers.
This is the first time in twenty years I've not had a big dog around in my life. Taylor and Leakey and Jenny all overlapped (with special "guest dogs" Francis and Dag and Jake).
Maybe that seems stupid or callous to other people - how I'm so much more shaken and upset about my dogs dying than I am about most people.
Then again, I've met a lot of people, and I've met a lot of dogs. And I would totally understand if lots of people were more upset about a dog dying than me.
Anyway, I don't think I'm really up to peopling at all, but I have to work tomorrow, so yay. Fuck.
Faith Collapsing is a host set up by me (Steven Saus) with the same sensibility of the BBS I ran back in the 1990s - I set it up for me, but folks I personally know are welcome to join if they like.